Stella was engaged to a man whom she was dating for two years. Her marriage was due next summer. She always thought of their relationship to be a great one. She could see that from the comments of the family members and girlfriends around her. They call them the inseparable.
Suddenly, one day her boyfriend told her that “they need to take a break”. He said, he is unsure of his feelings and doesn’t know what he really wants in a relationship. He asked her to postpone the weeding’s idea, and just to be friends for the time being.
Stella was shocked. She didn’t know what to say, or how to reply. She was hit by a devastating breakup that she didn’t see it coming. She had no idea that her boyfriend was about to leave her. She thought that she had planned everything from the cake decoration to her wedding dress. Except for one thing, never occurred to her it would happen that her loved one would abandon her.
Under the weight of the shock, Stella was unable to think clearly what she should do. She was drowning in a bitter sorrow that was consuming all her thoughts. Life is not that easy, when the people you used to have around, the ones you think they cared the most about you, suddenly leave you at your worst moment.
Her boyfriend was everything in her life. He was the last one she thinks of when she goes to bed, and the first one that comes to her mind when she opens her eyes in the morning. Every morning, she makes sure that she sends him a warm morning text, and to remind him how much she loves and cares for him.
Suddenly, all that sweet moments had gone with the wind. For Stella to cope with the breakup’s pain, she can either give in to the despair and loneliness, or face it directly and stand again on her feet stronger and more experienced than before. If she gives in to negative thoughts, she will likely suffer from emotional and even physical problems.
Standing tall in the face of such a horrible breakup won’t be easy, but her efforts will pay off ten-folds in the near future. If you have gone through the same experience you only need to abide by the following techniques, in order for you to survive the split and make him regret losing you.
1- Accept where you are standing right now, but just know that it is temporary.
You need to know that the intensified feelings of anger, sadness and rejection are normal at this stage. Don’t ignore them, don’t pretend they don’t exist. The more you acknowledge them, and accept that it is a normal phase, and that it will be gone in a few weeks, the faster they will fade away.
These feelings of rejection are real right now. So, don’t deny their existence. As the relationship’s expert Bob Grant says in his ground breaking book “Feeling the pain is inevitable. However, suffering is optional”. Simply, keep in your mind, that those bitter feelings, will diminish as long as you talk positively to yourself. Just feed your mind with positive thoughts, and have a strong believe that there is a joyful life waiting for you in a few weeks ahead.
2- Make happiness your goal:
Happiness is just waiting for you around the corner. It is waiting for you to break free from the bad thoughts, and just see the light at the end of the tunnel. You only need to focus on what makes you happy during this painful time. It doesn’t need to be something extraordinary; it can be small things of the ordinary life events. Such as, enjoying the sunrise or reading an interesting book to lift your self-confidence. Don’t lock yourself in your room; it won’t do you any good.
Instead, embrace your social life. Hang out with your close friends, talk with them over a cup of coffee, laugh with them on the jokes they exchanged. Enjoy these small moments, seek larger ones. The more you cherish, appreciate, and acknowledge what makes you happy, the farther you walk away from that dark time.
3- Picture A Happy Image Of Yourself In The Near Future.
The moment you become aware of the things that bring you joy, mentally visualize yourself being happy all the time. Mentally picture what you are doing; what there is around you, what best mood you want to see yourself in. That new life is only a few weeks, if not days away from you.
Happiness is the only resort you can rely on, that will make you the winner in the breakup. Happiness is the best revenge, but it only occurs when you focus on yourself, instead of your ex’s. Who knows? He’s probably tormented by the feelings of regret.
That’s because it is a relationship pattern that spontaneously shows up simply because men are true to their male nature. They don’t know the value of what they have, until they lose it. It is the smart and wise woman who learns about how to pick up on those signals of regrets, and eventually triumphs and gets what she wants out of her relationship with a man.